


Wouldn't Have to Wait So Long

by trytomakemestay



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Beach, Growing Up, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-31
Updated: 2013-07-31
Packaged: 2017-12-22 01:06:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/907088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trytomakemestay/pseuds/trytomakemestay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They didn’t know yet that they were also building something much bigger than sandcastles, something that was too big for people to see. They were too young then but if someone asked them years later, they’d probably say they knew it all along.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wouldn't Have to Wait So Long

**Author's Note:**

> sorry i suck at writing summaries but yeah i've worked on this over the past view days. i actually got the idea over spring break when i was staying at my grandparents beach house. this isnt like anything ive ever written before so id love feedback :) oh and the underage thing is just a technicality really. its just 16/18  
> trytomakemestay.tumblr.com

Harry was five and every summer he went to visit his grandparents. They lived beachfront in Brighton, a luxury he would one day understand but for now it just meant that he could swim in the ocean as long as he had an adult with him.

It was his first day on the beach.

“Gemma, please help me make this sandcastle,” Harry pleaded.

“No Harry, sandcastles are for babies. Build it yourself,” Gemma rolled her eyes and continued flipping through her magazine.

“I’m not a baby!” Harry pouted, sticking out his lower lip.

“If you keep acting like one you’re going to turn back into one. Soon enough you’ll be back in diapers and smell like poo!” Gemma teased.

“No I won’t! I’m not acting like a baby! Babies can’t even build sandcastles,” Harry explained.

“I’ll build a sandcastle with you,” Harry looked over to his left where a boy, only a few years older than him was sitting with his mum and a baby. The boy was smiling and his eyes were a deep blue.

“Okay!” Harry said brightly. 

The boy came and sat down next to him. He looked at Harry earnestly, “Don’t listen to your sister. Sandcastles aren’t for babies. Sandcastles are for anyone who wants to make sandcastles.”

“Is that what you want?” Harry asked, “To make sandcastles?”

“With you, yeah,” His smile made Harry feel warm inside and he couldn’t help but smile back at him.

Gemma rolled her eyes again, “Boys are weird,” she said as she got up and moved over to the other side of their mum. Harry’s mum just gave them a thoughtful look, before returning to her peaceful sunbathing.

“I’m Harry, what’s your name?” Harry asked, watching as the older boy pack sand into the bucket. The boy ran his fingers through the sand, frowning.

“You know, the sandcastle would be a lot stronger and would stay together better if the sand was a little wetter,” he explained, “Oh and I’m Louis.”

Louis. Harry could remember that.

“How old are you?” Harry asked.

“You ask a lot of questions,” Louis laughed and Harry felt oddly proud that he had made him laugh, even if he wasn’t sure what he did, “I’m seven and a half.”

“Oh I’m only five,” Harry admitted.

“That’s okay! I play with Lottie sometimes and she’s just a baby,” Louis explained.

“Who’s Lottie?” Harry asked.

“She’s my little sister! She’s over there,” Louis pointed over to where he was sitting earlier where a woman was sitting with a baby in her lap.

“Oh okay,” Harry said, “Are you visiting your grandparents too?”

“No,” Louis shook his head, “I live here all the time.”

“All the time?” Harry tilted his head in confusion.

“Yeah, all the time. I go to school here and everything. It’s not as fun as it sounds though because my mum doesn’t let me go in the water most of the year because it’s too cold,” Louis ran his hands up and down the side of his arms to act out cold.

“Oh,” Harry went quiet and the two worked tirelessly, building up sandcastles and making their own little fortress. Louis would pack the sand into the buckets because he was bigger and stronger and he could carry the bucket and flip it over much more easily than Harry could. Harry would gather seashells to decorate and he’d fix the edges, making them neat and clean. 

Every day for the rest of the week, they met on the beach and did the same thing. Every day they rebuilt what the tides washed away. Their mums began to sit next to each other and talk. Gemma would play with Baby Lottie. Louis’s dad came down one day but he didn’t stay for long. He was a big man who grumbled a lot. Louis tried to get him to help build their sandcastle with them but he didn’t. Harry was thankful for that because Louis’s dad was scary and the sandcastle was Louis and Harry’s thing. Every day they built a more impressive structure, learning from the days before.

They didn’t know yet that they were also building something much bigger than sandcastles, something that was too big for people to see. They were too young then but if someone asked them years later, they’d probably say they knew it all along. 

At the end of the week, Harry didn’t want to leave. His mother assured him that they would come back soon but Harry couldn’t leave without saying goodbye to Louis. She eventually gave in and walked him to Louis’s house where he rang the doorbell. Louis’s mum answered and she smiled at Harry’s puffy red eyes.

“I’ll go get him,” She said before Harry could say anything. She came back with a bouncy Louis in tow.

“Hi Harry!” Louis beamed.

“Hi,” Harry said shyly.

“Harry, tell him why you’re here,” His mother nudged.

“I’m leaving today, so I came to say goodbye,” Harry said, his eyes locked on the ground.

“You’ll be back again though, right?” Louis asked.

Harry just nodded. Louis jumped forward and pulled Harry into a big bear hug and whispered, “I’ll be here.”

Their mums just smiled but if someone asked them later, they’d say that this was when they knew and maybe they did. It wasn’t one of those things that people could see; it was something they could feel.

***

Harry was six and car seats are restraining, “Are we there yet?”

Gemma groaned but his mother calmly answered, “No sweetie, when we are there you’ll see it. You don’t need to ask every five minutes.”

“Sorry,” was all Harry replied. He watched the trees blur past and he toyed with his leap frog, too wired to actually turn it on and use it. 

When they finally pulled into the driveway Harry hastily unbuckled his seat belt, unlocked his door, and hopped out.

“Harry Edward Styles, you will not do anything until you unload the car and say hello to your grandparents,” his mother commanded.

Harry let out a huff but he didn’t protest because he didn’t want to be rude.

Getting all of the bags out of the car seemed to take forever and his grandparents seemed to have a lot of questions about Harry starting school. His mum could tell that he was getting really antsy and she eventually excused them.

Harry practically dragged her down the street as they walked down to the Tomlinson household. When they reached the front door and she reached for the doorbell, Harry stopped her, “I want to do it!”

She laughed and let him. Harry rang it and he heard the muffled sound of someone coming to the door.

“Anne!” Louis’s mom greeted her. She had a small baby wrapped in a ink blanket in her arms, “It’s wonderful to see you back, and you as well Harry.”

“It’s good to see you, too, Jay. And the little one,” Anne bent down to smile at the infant, “We definitely need to get caught up this week.”

“Well, I bet Louis would be ecstatic to know that Harry’s here. Come in! I’m going to see if I can find him,” Jay waved them in and into the living room then disappeared upstairs to find her son. Lottie was in there and she was twice the size she was when Harry had seen her last.

Harry’s heart was racing and he couldn’t stand still. He rocked back and forth on his feet until Jay came back, “He’s coming.”

Harry heard him before he saw him.

“Mum, why did you make me-” he cut off when he saw Harry standing there, “Harry!”

Louis closed the space between them and pulled Harry into a tight embrace. He was taller than he was before but his eyes were still the same shade of blue and he still felt warm when they touched.

“I missed you,” Harry said.

“I thought you would’ve forgotten about me. It’s been a year,” Louis said with a shyness that was very uncharacteristic. 

“I don’t think I could forget about you,” Harry said, honestly.

Louis smiled, “Good thing you didn’t because we have sandcastles to build and an ocean to explore.”

“You can do that any time,” Harry laughed.

“It’s not the same without you,” Louis had a way of making Harry’s cheeks burn, “Let’s go up to my room.”

Louis’s room was messy with clothes and he his muddy football cleats were just lying on the floor. He had Superman sheets and a Batman lamp but most importantly, bunk beds. 

They climbed up to the top bunk and talked and talked, about anything and everything. Harry told Louis about the mean kid in his class that made fun of him for coloring with pink markers instead of building legos with the other boys. Louis agreed that the kid was a meanie and that Harry should play with the toys he wanted. Louis told Harry about Grade 2 and homework and math and spelling. 

Night fell and Harry’s mum was only able to drag Harry home by promising that he would get to see Louis tomorrow.

The next day, Harry waited impatiently at the beach until Louis arrived, bucket and shovel in hand, “Let’s do this.”

It was like the fifty-one weeks prior hadn’t even occurred. They picked up right where they left off. Louis was still his best friend and no time apart could change that.

“What are your friends at home like?” Louis asked on the third day.

“Niall is my best friend at home. He’s all the way from Ireland! I don’t know why he’d move somewhere as boring as Manchester,” Harry wondered.

“I’d love to move to Manchester,” Louis grinned.

“Why?” Harry asked.

“You live there,” Louis said, shrugging. 

Harry blushed before Louis added, “and I could go to Manchester United games all the time.”

Harry didn’t care much for football but Louis did. On the surface they didn’t have much in common at all. Louis liked sports and he was loud and his mum barely had to put any sunscreen on him. Harry liked to draw and was shy and his mum had to reapply his sunscreen every thirty minutes or he’d get burned. Those kind of things didn’t matter though because Harry and Louis were Harry and Louis. 

Harry asked Louis about his best friend and Louis told him about a boy named Liam. They played football together and they both liked superheroes. Harry tried his best to not get jealous but Liam got Louis all the time and Harry only got Louis one week a year. Louis was his best friend.

It rained on the fifth day. Harry pulled on his rain boots and his duckbilled-raincoat and begged until his mum walked him over to Louis’s house. 

Inside, Louis and Harry built a fort out of blankets. When the power went out they took flashlights and Harry giggled when Louis’s hands made shapes in the dim light. Louis found his superhero colouring book, ripping out pages for Harry to colour. Jay brought them cookies and Louis finished his before Harry did so Harry gave him some of his. 

Together, Louis and Harry were unstoppable.

Harry tried his best not to cry when the week ended and he had to go back home. Once again, there was only the weak promise of one day. Harry was young and hopeful and one day was enough, at least for now. 

 

***  
Seven

They had to wait to leave until after Anne got off work so they arrived at the beach too late for Harry to see Louis that day.

The next morning Harry’s mum took forever to put on her bathing suit and sunscreen. Harry thought he’d turn ten before she was ready to go outside but eventually they did. Harry started running when he saw the familiar outline of the older boy in the water, “Louis!”

Louis looked taken aback when Harry waved but before he could reply another voice said, “Who are you?”

The other boy had dark hair and he was much bigger than Harry (or Louis for that matter). Harry didn’t like the look he was giving him but he still responded, “I’m Harry.”

“How old are you?” The other boy sneered.

“I’m seven,” Harry said, trying to meet Louis’s eyes but the boy seemed transfixed by something on the ocean floor.

“Are you even old enough to swim?” The other boy sniggered.

“Stan-” Louis said, weakly.

“What Louis? This kid’s a loser. He can’t play with us,” Stan taunted.

Harry bit his lip and tried his best to fight the tears that were filling his eyes.

“Oh look- he’s crying. What a baby,” Stan laughed and with that, Harry turned around and ran back to the house, ignoring his mothers calls.

Harry didn’t care that he was tracking sand into the house (actually, he did but he made a mental note to clean it up later). He ran into his room and slammed the door then curled up into a ball on his bed and let the tears take over.

He heard a knock on the door but he ignored it. After a minute or so, Gemma walked in anyway, “Are you okay?”

“No,” Harry answered through choked sobs. Gemma came and sat down on the foot of his bed.

“What happened? Kiddo, you’ve got to calm down or you’re going to pass out. Deep breaths,” Gemma was wise beyond her 12 years, at least that’s what Harry’s mum always said. He just knew that Gemma always knew what to do so Harry usually listened to here.

When Harry’s breathing finally steadied, he told Gemma exactly what happened.

“This kid sounds like a jerk. Do you want me to go beat them up?” Gemma asked, actually pushing herself up as if she was going to to it.

“No!” Harry finally cracked a smile.

“You sure?” She looked eager.

“Don’t beat up Louis,” Harry said quietly.

“What about what’s-his face? Stan?” 

“Maybe,” Harry giggled. Gemma hopped up and made for the door, “Gemma, no! I was kidding!”

“You spoil all my fun, Harry,” Gemma smiled and sat back down.

“I can’t have my big sister fighting for me,” Harry told her.

“Well, can you have your big sister bake cookies for you?” She asked.

“Only if you let me help!” Harry said and the two laughed their way to the kitchen.

An hour and a flour-crusted kitchen later, Gemma and Harry were munching on cookies when the doorbell rang. Anne was the first to the door, “Oh, Louis. Are you here for Harry?”

“Tell him I’m not here!” Harry yelled across the house.

“I can hear you!” Louis yelled back but then quieter, “I’m here to say I’m sorry, Ms. Cox. I got my mum to call Stan’s parents and they came to pick him up. Can I please see Harry? I need to tell him in person how sorry I am.”

Harry was already tiptoeing over to the door. He could see Louis with his shoulders slumped standing just outside the door, “He can come in.”

Anne asked, clearly confused, “Are you sure, Harry?”

Harry nodded.

“Okay, then I’ll let you two talk,” She made her way back to the sofa where she had been watching a film. 

Harry finally met Louis’s eyes and the older boy offered a weak smile.

“Why are you here?” Harry asked, arms folded.

“Because you’re my best friend and my other friend was mean to you and I let him. So I needed to apologize,” Louis explained.

“Did you really make him leave?” Harry asked, trying to maintain his composure.

“Yeah and he’s not coming back any time soon. He’s kind of a jerk,” Louis said.

“Kind of?” And with that the two both broke into laughter.

“I really missed you,” Louis said once they quieted down.

“I missed you, too,” Harry replied.

“Can we start this week over?” Louis’s eyes were hopeful.

“I’d like that. Want to go build sandcastles?” Harry asked, hopefully.

“That’s what we do, isn’t it?” Louis took his hand and led him back to the beach. Every year they built sandcastles more extravagant than the previous year. They built them taller. They added motes. The one thing that didn’t change was them. They may be older but they were still Louis and Harry.

The rest of the week went by without another mention of Stan and their first encounter. There wasn’t any time to dwell on stuff like that. They only had a week together; they had to make it count. If it rained then Harry went over to Louis’s house or vice versa. Harry even spent the night over at Louis’s one night. They stayed up way past their bedtime talking quietly on Louis’s top bunk. They both fell asleep up there, squished together on the small bed. Mrs. Tomlinson didn’t say anything about it when she came to wake them up for breakfast. All she did was give them a knowing smile when they shot up and stumbled down the ladder to get their food.

Harry didn’t want to leave at the end of the week. He cried so hard he nearly threw up, actually. His mother promised they’d come back next year and Harry had to accept it. He didn’t know it was an empty promise.

***

Harry was eight and he cried when his mom told him that his father’s uncle had died. Harry didn’t spend much time with his dad’s side of the family so he hadn’t known him well. He was a sensitive kid. He cried harder when his mom explained to him that they had to go to Nottingham for the funeral.

They didn’t go to Brighton that year.

Harry didn’t get to see Louis.

***  
nine  
Harry was nine and he had spent a hundred and one weeks without Louis. Had it really been that long? Onlookers wouldn’t have been able to tell by the way that they picked up where they left off. After a tight hug and an explanation about last year’s absence, they were right back to their old selves. They even built sandcastles, despite the looks looks they got from other people who thought they were too old for them. Harry remembered a few years ago when a boy with bright blue eyes and tan skin had told him that “sandcastles are for anyone who wants to make sandcastles.”

A few things had changed, though. Now, when it rained they played Fifa on Louis’s Xbox. Louis always won but Harry managed to get at least one goal every time. When he looked back on it later, he wondered if Louis let him. Louis also had four little sisters now. His mum had given birth to twins since the last time Harry had see him. Louis was always sweet with them which made Harry’s heart swell.

On thursday the storm was particularly bad and it knocked the power out.

“Remember when we built a fort?” Louis asked after kicking his football against the wall for about fifteen minutes.

“Yeah, of course,” Harry said, looking up from the picture he was drawing under the light of the flashlight.

“Let’s do it again,” Louis grabbed Harry hand and they grabbed all the blankets they could find and some chairs and built a fort twice the size of their last one.

“I’m happy we did this,” Louis said when they were bundled up in the fort. The dim light of the flashlight was just enough for Harry to make out the outline of Louis’s features.

“Me too,” Harry agreed.

“Hey Harry,” Louis said.

“Yeah?” Harry replied.

“Do you like girls?” Louis asked curiously.

“They can be nice, sometimes,” Harry answered, confused.

“No, like do you want to kiss them?” Louis clarified.

Harry scrunched up his nose, “Ew, no.”

“Boys are supposed to kiss girls though,” Louis said, his eyes never leaving Harry.

“Not all boys kiss girls,” Harry shrugged, “I’ve never kissed a girl.”

“That’s because you’re only nine,” Louis explained.

“My mom’s friend Nick doesn’t kiss girls. He kisses boys,” Harry said, eyes wide with sincerity.

Louis stared at him for a while before saying, “I guess you’re right.”

“Why are you asking me this stuff?” Harry asked.

“I dunno,” Louis shrugged and went still, clearly lost in thought. His eyes were squinted and locked on Harry. Eventually he shook himself back, “Let’s go see if I have any snacks.”

They found some animal crackers and Harry laughed when Louis pretended to be a dinosaur, chomping off the animals head before eating the rest.

When Harry had to leave, this time he had to be strong and promise Louis he’d be back next year. He was too big for tears but he might have let some slip out when he was hugging Louis goodbye.

***

Harry was ten and when he got to the beach the first thing he did was run to Louis’s house. He didn’t see the “For Sale” sign before he rang the doorbell. No one answered.

His mother asked around and she found out that the Tomlinsons were getting divorced and Louis and his family had moved to Doncaster to live with his grandparents.

Harry spent most of that week inside. He didn’t make any sandcastles.

***

Harry was eleven and he tried not to get his hopes up that Louis was going to come back but he wanted to see him so badly.

He thought he saw him once. He was on the beach when a tan boy wearing sunglasses walked by him. He called Louis’s name but the kid didn’t respond. 

He needed to see Louis again. He didn’t want to give up hope. 

One day.

***

Harry was twelve and he didn’t even want to visit his grandparents that year. It was nothing against his grandparents, but being there wasn’t the same without Louis.

Louis was still gone and Harry was beginning to think that he would never see his best friend again.

***

Harry was thirteen and his mom assured him that this year would be better but she offered no explanation as to why. It was already dark when they pulled into the driveway. Harry grabbed his bag from the trunk of the car.

His heart nearly stopped when he opened the door to his grandparent’s house, duffel in hand, to find the blue-eyed boy with light brown hair, sitting on the sofa as if he lived there. 

“Harry!” Louis beamed, his smile much brighter than Harry remembered. Harry threw his bag on the ground and the two met in the middle. Louis was firmer than he was before, puberty had swapped baby fat for muscle. Harry dug his head into Louis’s chest and breathed him in. 

“I can’t believe you remember me,” Louis’s voice was a little deeper than it was before but it was still light and had a slight rasp.

“Of course I remember you,” Harry laughed, “You’re my best friend.”

Louis offered a soft smile, “Its been four years.”

“Four awful years,” Harry huffed.

Louis’s eyes flashed with worry, “Were they really that bad?”

“Oh no! Its just- erm-” Harry stumbled for the right words, “They would’ve been better if you had been here.”

“Awww,” Gemma’s voice came from behind.

Harry flushed red, “Shut it, Gems.”

“Sorry, I’ll go upstairs,” She laughed and disappeared up to her room.

“So, um wanna go for a walk on the beach?” Louis asked, once she was gone.

“Yeah, I’d love to,” Harry followed Louis out the back door and down to the water.

“So, how’d you get into my grandparents house anyway?” Harry asked, breaking their comfortable silence.

“As soon as we moved back at the beginning of this summer, I went over and knocked on their door. They told me that you’d be here today and that they’d let me surprise you,” Louis rubbed the back of his neck with his hand.

Harry bit his lip to hide his smile, “So why’d you move back?”

“My mom got a job and thank god she did,” Louis’s eyes went wide.

“Why?” Harry’s curiosity got the best of him

“I like the water,” Louis simply before adding, “And you of course.”

Harry kept his eyes down but he knew that Louis would still be able to see the giant grin that had spread across his face. 

After walking in silence for a few minutes, Harry spoke up, “So are you going to miss anything about Doncaster?”

Louis pondered that for a moment, “Yeah, I made some good friends there. I’ll miss Zayn the most, I guess.”

“What was he like?” Harry asked.

“A bit like you, actually. He’s quiet and he draws a lot,” Louis shrugged.

“Oh,” Harry couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy.

Louis must’ve sensed it because he added, “You’re my best friend, though.”

“I can’t believe its been so long but nothing’s changed,” Harry said.

“Well, one thing’s changed,” Louis said earnestly.

“What?” Harry asked.

“You’re hair’s gotten curlier!” Louis ruffled his fingers through Harry’s hair. Harry laughed and let him despite the burn his fingers left on his scalp.

“We have a lot to catch up on,” Harry said once they were back to walking normally.

And they did. They spent every second of the week that they could together. Harry told Louis about school and his friends (well he only had one good friend and he’d told Louis about Niall years ago). Louis told Harry about his sisters and his parents divorce. Harry knew what it was like to have divorced parents but he was too young to remember what the divorce process was like. 

“Listening to your parents fight is hard,” Louis sighed one night when they were over at Louis’s, hidden away on Louis’s bed just like they did so often when they were little. Of course, Louis lived in a new house this time, a smaller one that wasn’t oceanfront and his bunk beds were swapped for a queen. 

“I’m sorry,” Harry frowned.

“It’s fine,” Louis whispered.

“It’s not,” Harry countered.

“Well there’s nothing anyone can do about it,” Louis yawned.

“Maybe not. I just wish I could’ve been there for you,” Harry could tell that Louis was starting to drift off.

“You were,” Louis’s voice was soft and he was asleep before Harry could respond. 

When they woke up the next day, Louis was pressed against Harry and his arm was around Harry’s waist. Harry didn’t want to move but his bladder disagreed. He wiggled out, careful not to wake the other boy. He smiled at how peaceful Louis looked in his sleep. He looked younger, like Harry’s memories of him. 

They spent that day on the beach. At the beginning of the week they decided that they didn’t care if people thought they were weird, they would still built sandcastles. Louis buried Harry in the sand and if anyone asked Harry why, he wouldn’t have an answer but he’d do whatever Louis asked him to do.

The week ended too soon. Harry clung to Louis when they exchanged tearful goodbyes. Looking back, Harry would later swear that he saw had Louis had stared at his lips and Louis would agree that he did. Harry left with just a simple promise.

Next year.

***

Harry was fourteen and a year was still a long time. Louis didn’t surprise him at his grandparents house this time. Harry walked over to his house the next morning and found Louis. They hugged but Harry could feel something was off. Louis didn’t throw himself into Harry like he had before. He didn’t cling to him as if he was keeping him from falling off a cliff. He didn’t bury his face into Harry’s neck and breathe him in. He just hugged him half-heartedly and invited him in to play Xbox.

It rained that day and the day after that and the day after that. It rained the whole week but they never built a fort. Maybe they were too old for it or maybe it was something else. Harry knew that Louis was still Louis but he couldn’t help but feel as if he had lost someone, someone very important to him.

But still, when Harry fell asleep in Louis’s bed on the second to last night, he woke up with their legs intertwined. A confusing wave of emotions washed over him and he had to get out. He snuck out Louis’s room and out of the house. He didn’t know where to go but he couldn’t go back to his house without his family asking him questions.

So he walked to the beach and sat down, watching the waves. The sound of them crashing into the shore calming his nerves. He tried not to think about much but his mind kept finding its way back to Louis. Harry needed him and whatever it was they were because Louis was his best friend, the most important person in his life. Harry wasn’t sure how that even happened. He only saw Louis one week every year but that was enough. Louis had always kept him going when things were bad at home. There was always that hope.

Maybe now Harry understood why Louis had said that Harry was there for him when his parents were fighting because Louis was there for Harry whenever he got picked on at school. Louis was there for him when him couldn’t sleep at night.

Louis had always been there. Harry knew that Louis’s crinkle-eyed smile could clear the skies of even the worst of hurricanes. Harry knew that the Louis he knew before was still in there so there was hope. He just had to get him out.

Harry checked his phone. It was a reasonable hour for him to go back home and he was starving for breakfast. When he got back he fixed himself some cereal and sat down at the kitchen table, still completely lost in thought when the doorbell rang.

He got up to answer it and found Louis standing there, worry apparent in his delicate features, “You’re here.”

“Yeah, this is where I stay,” Harry said, a little too coldly.

“You just left. I didn’t know where you went,” Louis seemed only semi-relieved to have found him.

“Sorry,” Harry shrugged.

“Harry, don’t be like this,” Louis pleaded.

“Be like what, Louis? I’m just being me. You’re the one who’s been acting weird. You haven’t been the same this whole time I’ve been here and you know what? I miss the old you,” Harry erupted.

“I’m still me. I’m still Louis,” Louis said, softly.

“No you’re not. Come back when you’re you again,” Harry slammed the door but not before he saw the hurt look on Louis’s face. He felt a pang of guilt over his outburst but he still felt it was justified. Louis was everything to him and he wasn’t being himself. Harry needed the real Louis.

Harry ignored his family’s questions as he made his way to his room. He just got in bed and slept the rest of the day away until he heard a bang on the window, which startled him awake. Before he could even get up to look, there was another and Harry realized that someone was outside. He hopped up and pushed the window open, looking down to find Louis standing there, smiling bright up at him.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Harry laughed, he couldn’t help it, “You’re going to break the glass.”

“I needed to wake you and this is what they do in movies,” Louis explained, “Can you sneak out?”

“Yeah, gimme a second,” Harry tiptoed out his room and down the stairs. He carefully opened the back door so it didn’t creak and slipped out.

He found Louis where he’d been standing earlier, eyes hopeful.

“So?” Harry said, lamely.

“So,” Louis said, taking a deep breath, “I wanted to apologize. I was being stupid and I wasted so much time.”

“Yeah you did,” Harry agreed.

Louis let out a half smile, “I didn’t want it to hurt so much this time.”

“What?” Harry asked, his brow furrowing in confusion.

“You leaving. It gets harder every time. I thought if I kept my distance, it would be easier. But at the same time, I couldn’t not see you. But I’ve just fucked everything up now, haven’t I?” Louis’s voice was resigned.

“You were trying to make it easier?” Harry asked.

“Yeah. Harry when you’re gone you take a piece of me. I can’t even function after you leave. I try to distract myself but all I really do is wait for you to come back. It drives me insane, spending so much of my life missing someone. I just need you here with me, always,” Louis’s words floated through Harry’s mind, not completely registering. 

“But I can’t be here,” Harry said, dumbly.

“I know and that’s why I’ve been so weird and it sounds really stupid now that I’m saying it out loud but-”

Harry had to get him to shut up somehow. When their lips met it was quick, barely even a kiss before Harry jumped back and realized what he had done.

Louis just grabbed him by the waist and pulled him close again, their lips meeting once more. This time Harry really felt Louis’s hot breath and soft lips against his own. He melted into the kiss, letting Louis take the lead. Louis had just pressed his tongue against Harry’s lips when a female voice called, “Harry? Are you out there?”

Harry pulled back and stifled a giggle, “Yeah, mum. I just needed some fresh air.”

“Oh alright, just come in soon, I don’t like you out here by yourself,” she said before closing the door.

“Okay, so I have about two minutes before she’ll come back and get me,” Harry whispered.

“What time do you leave tomorrow?’ Louis whispered back.

“Early,” Harry sighed.

“Shit,” Louis cursed before giving him another chaste kiss, “I’m really going to miss you, Styles.”

“I’ll miss you, too. But I’ll see you next summer, Lou,” Harry pulled Louis in for a tight hug.

“Bye, Harry,” Louis said as Harry walked back to the house.

“Bye, Louis,” Harry smiled as the older boy disappeared around the side of the house.

Maybe one day they won’t have to say goodbye so soon after saying hello. Louis was right, it did get harder every time.

***

Harry was fifteen and kissing a boy then not seeing him for a whole year after can keep a teenager up at night. He didn’t know what to expect when he got back but it wasn’t this.

Louis told him all about her and Harry couldn’t listen. It hurt too bad. Sometimes, he’d forget about her when they were busy being Harry and Louis but then he’d casually mention her and Harry would shut down. He shouldn’t have expected anything after the kiss. Louis lived hours away and only saw harry for one week out of every year. There’s no way they could’ve worked but it still ripped Harry’s heart in two.

Louis and Harry were Louis and Harry. There’s no room for some other faceless girl. Harry wanted Louis all to himself but he couldn’t have that. What cruel fate allowed Harry to have Louis for only one night when he was fourteen? Not even one night. It was only five minutes. If people had known then they would’ve said he was just a hormonal teenager but even later Harry would say he was always desperately in love. Whoever decided that teenagers were incapable of real feelings, not just driven by hormones, had never experienced what Harry felt. It was the best feeling in the world when young love was reciprocated; the worst, when its not. H.

At least this summer, Louis was acting like his usual self. They built sandcastles again and even if Harry felt it meant something more to him than it did to Louis, it was nice to have his best friend back.

On the last full day it rained. Louis suggested they build a fort, just like old times. Harry couldn’t say no to Louis. They had been in there for hours when Harry finally broke down and asked, “Why her?”

Louis understood, “Harry...”

“No, Louis. I want to know, why her?” Harry tried his best to keep his voice steady.

“She is a good distraction,” Louis said, his voice barely a whisper.

“Distraction from what?” Harry asked but he hoped he already knew the answer.

“You. Missing you. Wishing you were here. Wanting to be with you all the time,” Louis’s voice cracked in the end and Harry dropped any hostility and put his arm around Louis, letting him rest his head on Harry’s shoulder.

“You’re an idiot,” Harry said making Louis bark out a laugh.

“I know. Next summer, I promise we can get it right,” Louis sounded like he might actually believe that.

Harry really hoped he was right.

Saying goodbye was never easy for them. Harry held Louis so tightly that there was no space between them. One day, they wouldn’t have to do this, at least, that’s the thought that kept them hopeful.

***  
Harry was sixteen and he was trying his best not to set his hopes too high. He’d been crushed last time and he wasn’t going to let that happen again. He trusted Louis, though and Louis had promised that this summer would be better. He found Louis sitting on the front step of his grandparents house. He ignored his mum’s request for him to help her unload the car and ran to Louis. He threw himself into the boy he had spent way too much time missing.

The first things Louis whispered was, “I broke up with her.”

Harry beamed before Louis added, “The day you left.”

Louis helped them unpack the car and he went inside for dinner with Harry’s family. He fit right in with them. He even got Harry’s grouchy old grandfather to crack a smile. For the first time in a long time, everything was perfect but, of course, Harry knew that at the end of the week, things would go back to the way they were.

Louis and Harry went for a walk on the beach after the sun went down. Their fingers were interlocked and Louis told Harry all about his A-Levels and his final years of college. Harry told Louis about finishing up sixth form and being nervous for college. Louis reassured Harry that everything would be alright. They kissed under the starlight with the sound of the waves crashing in the background and Harry was happy.

Their days were spent the pretty much the same way they had always spent them, sandcastles, forts, video games. The only change was a couple of quick kisses when no one was around. 

Their nights were a completely different story. They had to keep quiet though.

The final night was the night.

There were in Louis’s bed. Louis’s was on top of Harry, sucking hard into Harry’s neck. He was going to leave a mark but Harry couldn’t care less. Louis’s hand trailed down Harry’s stomach, stopping just above his crotch.

“Is this okay?” Louis whispered, his eyes searching for Harry’s reaction.

“Yeah,” Harry whispered back, a little too eagerly. Louis palmed Harry’s crotch and he made Harry choke back a moan.

“Shhh- we can’t wake up my family,” Louis whispered, dipping his hand under the band of Harry’s boxers. Harry just nodded and bit his lip. He lifted up Harry’s hips and slid his boxers down, letting Harry’s hard cock flop to his belly. Louis took Harry’s length in his hand, “Are you sure this is okay?”

“Yeah- fuck- Louis just do something,” Louis gave Harry a mischievous grin before slowly gliding his hand up and down.

“Shit,” Harry whispered, cheeks already flushed, “faster.”

Louis let out a quiet laugh but listened nonetheless, quickening his pace with every flick of his wrist. It took ever ounce of Harry’s willpower not to thrust up into Louis’s hand. It wasn’t long before Harry knew he was about to come, he was a virgin after all, “Lou, I’m gonna-”

“Go ahead,” Louis smiled and Harry came on Louis’s hand. Louis wiped it on the sheets and whispered, “I’ll change these tomorrow.”

Even in Harry’s post-orgasm bliss, he laughed. Louis leaned in and pressed a soft kiss into his lips.

Harry insisted on returning the favour and was very proud of himself when he got Louis to whisper soft profanities at Harry’s touch. He was even prouder when Louis came and he finally got to see what Louis looked like when he reached his orgasm.

Louis had leaned up and kissed him, then softly whispered, “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Harry whispered back.

When they woke up the next morning, Harry really didn’t want to get out of bed but he had to leave in just a few hours. He wasn’t sure how he was going to survive this goodbye.

“Harry, I’ve got something to tell you,” Louis said once they were up and dressed.

“If it’s that you love me, you already told me last night,” Harry laughed.

“No, I do love you though,” Louis smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling like they always do.

“Well?” Harry asked, expectantly.

“Today might be goodbye, but it’s not for long,” Louis said.

“What do you mean?” Harry said, hope rising in his chest.

“I’m going to the University of Manchester,” Louis stated and Harry’s heart might actually leap out of his chest.

“So, you’ll be living in the same city as me?” Harry asked, his excitement building.

“Yes,” Louis was watching Harry for a reaction but Harry just leapt towards him.

This kiss was heated and rough, like they only had a few more seconds together when in reality, they had all the time in the world. Louis’s lips fit with Harry’s perfectly. They fit together perfectly, well that is, until Louis’s mother opened the door. They jumped apart but she had already seen, “I knew it! Finally, I need to call Anne.”

Louis laughed and dug his head into Harry’s shoulder.

“At least we don’t have to worry about telling them,” Harry joked.

They still had to say goodbye that day but a few weeks was a hell of a lot shorter than a whole year and after that, they had forever. They didn’t need to wait for one day because they could finally see it on the horizon. A “see you later” is far more manageable than a “see you next year.” 

Louis could finally be his, all the time.

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are much appreciated :) thanks so much for reading!!


End file.
